Welcome to the Mash-UP FanFic blog: a terrifying and incomprehensible part of the website where all of your favourite things from the media converge and suffer a fate worse than death. What is that fate you ask? Read on and cry about it
True Love Is On The Inside
Thes is a dark forest on the edge of a swap and thes young peeple want to go spend some time thaere. Theres like a cupple dudes and a couple girld and they are all getting ready to have a good old fshionned weekend in the wooks. One of the dudes has a relly big chin and you recognise him. This is the gy with the chainsaw for a hand from Evil Dead the movie only guess what? This guy still has both his hands like it all never even happened (but his name ins still ASH)
They are all reddy to have some fun since thy got beer and drugs for the weekend. The wether is no goo dthough and they cn't wait to ge t to the cabin. One of the girlds sais "its gettin close gys don;t worry"
aNd ASHE says "Anyboddy feel like this is a deja view? "
Nobody does and they have to truge through the swarmp.
Theysuddenly al hear a s cream and look around.
"Oh nowI know this is all happening for the second time"
But ASHE doens't remmebe r. He loks at his hand Where you expect to see a chainsaw and he says outloud to no one "well, my hand is the same like it's always been. At least that's the cse."
The groupof young people get to the cabin and it has a sign out front that says "AN OGRE LIVES HERE SO STAY AWAY OF YOU KNOW WHAT"S GOOD FOR YOU! "q
Nobody looks home. The gilrwhos'e cabin its suppodes to be sas "this isn't right" and then they see a talking cat! Its lie and orgne cat and its got stripes and it has a deep voice and a spaish acent.
"oh hello prety ladies" says the cat.
Everybody screems becasue the cat sounds like it is in love with them but it is a cat with ahuman voice.
Ashe says lets all get in the iuse and they do but one of the dudes is stuck outside and he is screeming. Inside the hous eis all lie a story bookand ther is pictres of a large green fat guy and a donkey with Cameron Diaze.
"wear did you say youre family is from?" Ahs asks the girl and everybody is thinking the same thing: this is not a regular place.
The screaming from the dude where the spanish cat was last seen has quieted down.and then the next sdeound is the breaking o f at window and the cat is in the room.
"Give me a sexy kiss" he says in a scary way for a cat to say it to nobody in particular and the others are like "Where idid ashe go?
The spanish cat says " don't be afraid of me everyone I just want to make you mi wive"
They all crwal away on theire backs as the chhat walks on his legs and rbber boots towards tem.
"Oh don not e be so afrqaid even though the more you resist the more aI want to love you more" and he makes a kissy face.
"aSSH!" they arll screem! But the cat os pretty much already there and then they heer it: THE SOUNF OF A CHAINSAW! and we all know what that means.....
A whole hets cut in the wall witha chane saw and ash crawls through it with a chainsow for his hand and he says "GROOVY"
The cat for the first time makes a real cat noise like a cat that is really not having any fun and Ash cuts it inhalf and says "GOrOVY!" and the cat says something liek" always the bridesmaid and neber the bride" ans dies.
Every budy is so happy and grab on to ASHes legs with supreme gratitue.And theyn they nhear the best thing they herd all day: it sound slike a black guy from the 1980s and mike meyers (the fatone from Ostin Powers) are having a HILARIOUS conversation.
Everybody looks at eachother likme they won the jackpost only the door opens and its the green man and a talking donky. Everybody screams an asshe says "GROVEY" and we all know what ahppens next...
To be continued...?