(a short sample)
Nighttime in the desert. DARK HANDSOME
is bound in electrical tape. COPYCAT has
dragged him far from the road. DARK
HANDSOME can't move, but his not gagged.
You circumcised? Don't worry. It's fine. I am though. Messed up, right? Messed up. Just-- Can you imagine? Some old guy cutting your dink and then skinning it? Skinning. Alive. Oh-- Just-- Oh. Bad enough to think about. You know, it used to be-- and still is, even-- that the Jew who did it had to suck the skin off with his mouth. That still happens in New York. New York, even. Some old guy-- like a real from-TV Jew-- cuts your dink with a knife and then he does oral sex to take it off. That's legal, even. Can you believe it? I always thought my dink was the same as every bodies'. But then one day when I was at my cousin's I saw his dink when he was changing-- I was maybe six and we were going swimming-- and it was all just like a maggot or a glove with a finger in it. That was the first time I ever felt different, you know. When I grew up I confronted my dad about it. I said: "Why did you do that to me? Why did you mutilate me so I can't probably feel sex? I am a mutilate because of you." Right to his face. I wrote it down even, and sent a letter to him after, too. Because sometimes in real life I think I don't get my point across with talking. Anyway. I was just wondering how similar we actually are. You know? Given this situation.
DARK HANDSOME does not answer.
Think there's coyotes out here? Once When I was a little guy, my uncle showed me a cow that was frozen in ice near a lake. It was hollowed out because coyotes ate all of its insides. It was really strange, I remember, because I had-- or, my mom-- My mom had a cow shaped cookie jar. What the coyotes did was: they found this cow stuck in the ice and ate into its butt, which is pretty smart if you ask me-- like when you get a CD and it's shrink wrapped and you kind of feel around for a tiny hole to open up. And they eat right into the cows butt. They crawl inside and just keep eating it. My uncle told me that cow is always alive when this happens. Then I asked him if the coyotes slept inside the cow. Like Luke Skywalker. He didn't answer me. But after that, all I could think about was: if I could sleep inside my mom's cookie jar I would do that every night.
If you aren't going to say anything the rest of this is going to be really weird.
It's already weird enough without a car. I really wish-- I really wish we had a car. Jeepers. I was thinking about getting the Accord. It's a long walk though. And it's not the same. Do you even have a car? See: I figured you wouldn't for a couple of reasons. Do you though?
See, the first reason is you're probably from prison. So if you've got a car the government's got it. The second reason is this: I think you like cars too much to have a car. I'm right about that. Right? I find out about a guy like you and here's what I think:This guy loves cars. And all of them too. Just the basic mechanics. An engine on four wheels. You know? Vans, trucks too: motorized vehicles. So obviously the question then is: How does a guy like you choose? It's a big investment and you can't have every one. Not unless you're Jay Lenno. I mean, that's why I don't have a car. So I guess that's actually the third reason I figured you wouldn't have a car: we're the same and that's why I don't have a car.
DARK HANDSOME starts to laugh.
I know. It's shocking. Right? I've always been really good at reading people. On account of the fact that people are just puzzles and like I said before: I'm really good at putting all the pieces together. Just like you.